"...let me do me to myself." (plus the poem which was born from this blog)

For someone who is allegedly deemed “smart”, I sure as hell only ever do disgustingly stupid things. The list is endless       : -Leaving Wallets in peoples cars

                       -Forgetting my bank pin

                       -Realising I have no clue where my I.D is, after needing to go to the bank

                       -Forgetting cell phones in peoples cars

That’s a shocking degree of stupidity, for someone who simply has NO excuse for that kind of behaviour!

I shocked myself today at how dismally I failed such a simple task. I wrote myself a list of things I have to do (Yes friend, I’m only attempting it 3 months later). It’s a list of 14 relatively mundane tasks, such as:

-        Be on Facebook less

-        Get dressed

-        Work on wedding spreadsheet

Et Cetera. The 3 that I have managed to get done thus far; what with their having been my 1^st three; are: - Write a list                 (done )

- Brush Teeth        (done )

- Make Tea              (done )

It was when I got to point 3 that I figured that some herb would be the ideal accompaniment to a wholesome cup of morning Green tea. And well ever since then, the rest is suddenly history.

Like really now CHRISTINE!

Your crap is no longer acceptable! Just get with living a life worth living already. I refuse to let me do me to myself! I guess that somewhat makes me my own headmistress. I would ask you all to prefect me along the way, but I don’t have the balls to hear the truth from anybody else but me! 

Coward?

 I know. I am however only human, and that shit hurts.

The truth hurts.

My eyes hurt.

(***sniffles***)

My eyes hurt

Hurt with a pain

That, “remember your alive” pain

They hurt with a sting

An everyday norm

They hurt when their not crying

They blaze with pain, in the absence of a tear storm

My eyes hurt needingly

Constantly

Breathlessly

My Hazel Glories hurt

They hurt

Blush

And diminish in spleandour

Amidst a red, that was once white.

My eyes hurt

Bleeding waves of fears

Waves of a numbness

Too silent to feel.

My eyes hurt.

To help me feel!

C.Msibi

03 July 2011