It just so happens that I have makwapheni experience; and circumstances rendered it fitting for me to share the tips that make being a side dish somewhat bearable.
First and foremost; you are not entitled! Not entitled to their time; to their company; to their phonecalls; to anything in fact. So once upon that itch you have to call them after working hours. . .Don't!
Secondly comes accepting that you are second best. Even in the unlikely event that they leave whomever for you; you are still second best. An after thought. An indulgence. In fact you are merely a hobby. An activity that he or she has a fond interest in. You are that with which they busy themselves. You are by NO means a lifestyle.
Please do not invest your anything in this person. Granted it's the third point, but it's no less important than the first. You cannot afford to put yourself in a situation where you stand to loose; when you've already let your dignity fall by the way side.
Point three leads to point four; that being that you should never let this person mean more than madness to you. Not to say that you can't have feelings for this person; because that's probably the reason you are in this mess to begin with; just that he or she shouldn't mean more to you than that particular moment. Kind of like work. You should never take your work home with you; so you should never feel for an unavailable person, outside of your time with them.
Last; but the complete opposite of least. . . DON'T! Just DON'T do that to yourself. Even if you don't mean anything to you, don't let yourself mean half something to someone else. Granted the salaciousness of it all might be a thrill, but the consequences promise to be heartache.
NOTE TO SELF: Take my own advice
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